Losing My Religion

To begin with, this post is in no way intended on convincing my readers to agree with me.
I find myself opening more and more through my writing and I appreciate everyone’s support.
Just the fact that people bring their eyes to read what I write is quite overwhelming and lovely.

The day I decided to disconnect myself from the Christian religion is the day that’s imprinted on my memory.
With all honesty, it was one of the best days of my life.
How’d I come about that decision? First, I’ll rewind you back to who I was.
Laying on my father’s bed one weekend, he spoke about the Lord and the necessary changes the world will go through (tsunamis, earthquakes, tornadoes, etc.) in the coming years. He spoke of sin and how it was an infection amongst everyone.

What really scared my ass into high gear was his statement, “Jesus is coming, and if you’re not ready, your ass is going to hell.”
That right there, fucked me up. It really vaporized all of my excitement about life. Keep in mind, I was the tender age of 12 and children are impressionable.
From that point, I became obsessed with Christianity. All I did, day and night was pray, and read the bible.
I found comfort in speaking to an entity that I was so sure existed. My belief in the Holy Trinity was so deep-seated it became a problem.
My fear of not making the cut, caused me to become an evangelist. Literally trying to sway my classmates into following the word of God; it became another responsibility.
I had the routine of a housewife; wake up, pray, go to school, pray, lunch, pray, gym, pray, come home, pray, pray, pray.
Inside of me, I knew there was so much more than what a Bible told me. Thinking of how much shit the rest of the world was going through, overwhelmed me. I had hit a roadblock, a plateau phase when I was about 15. As a child, I was heavily interested in the supernatural. One day, I saw a movie I used to watch during Halloween called “Halloween Town” and the insatiable thirst for knowledge erupted in me and emerged from the pores of my skin.
Uncontrollable, my fingers typed witchcraft into the search engine.
As I researched, my Zion block began deteriorating the more I read.
And at that point, my decision to destroy the fear inside took control.

Religion, to me, can be (and often is) a dangerous tool that is worse than most people think it is. Like a roller coaster, it starts off slow and it feels like you’re prospering and going somewhere with your life and when it drops, you find yourself in a position where it begins to overpower you. You have no jurisdiction when you let a belief that isn’t yours, enter your life.
You release your power as a spirit to an entity that you know nothing of, causing you to find yourself in an uncompromising position.
No longer are you walking within yourself.
Because you’re Christian or Muslim or whatever religion, you find yourself scrutinizing other’s beliefs although you say you tolerate it because the act of “walking in the footsteps of Jesus Christ” is necessary to the destination of your soul; superiority tends to become attached with the lifestyle.
Anyone who believes in something they cannot see, can be considered clinically insane.
In that, to say someone’s beliefs are stupid compared to yours is hypocritical; that I do not encourage.
Although I am not religious, my spirituality surpasses any book, any church, and any man the world can offer.
My insides feel cleaned, stripped anew; ready to appreciate everything.
It is understandable that everyone has an entitlement to their opinion, which is why none of my opinions can be considered fact; I wrote this not to prove anything, but to connect.
It is the higher consciousness of this glorious, perplexing, and vast galaxy that confirms the dazzling essence of the unknown.
It’s more dangerous to live a life by man made “evidence”, than to live a life finding your own pieces.
To respect that you know nothing, gives you the advantage to learn anything.
Anything can happen.

My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness. – Dalai Lama


One thought on “Losing My Religion

  1. Excellent. As always. I gave up on religion years ago. It’s a cosmic fairytale that makes no sense to me. I also went for years to please parents, spouse, etc. Just nothing there. My religion is to help each other whenever we can and to always let people know how you feel about them. The rest just seems to fall into place.

    Liked by 1 person

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